David Annand modelling Robert Fergusson

the messages

when ally bally bee
fell doon the treacle well

he took a wee bawbee
to see what they would sell

falafels for beginners
polystyrene stovies

goudie cheese for dinner
(Eh could eat a pair of rovies)

hauf a peh fae Santa
nae caviar for Lent

there's the maik Eh'm aain ya
and noo meh loot is spent

the Ides were gey untidy
back when Caesar took a faa

saying, 'Brutus, see's twa bridies
and an ingin ane an aa'

gae mental wi lentils
scell the frozen peas

there's mammon in salmon
and pints of ankle grease

be human as the bakéd bean
and mad as six bananas

we still have jam for wir yestreens
spam for wir mananas

everything organic
fresh fae the Titanic

there's nae praans in a cullen skink
nae calories in haen a think

ally bally all at sea
seekin oot his mammy's knee

hush noo bairnie dinna fret
ye can't aye waant the thing ye get

 

poem by WN Herbert  

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